Sunshine

The only escape to the world was the window which stood a few feet above me.
Every time that I looked beyond it, I could see the sunshine making its way inside.
It was when I started to notice the little things that I realized what I lost.
I was stuck in bed and it felt like forever.
Will I ever be able to leave it?- I would question myself.
My mind played down a mirage every time the nurses injected the medicines.
It took me back to the time I played holi with my friends. I wonder if they miss me now.
I imagine my mother at home. Does she miss me like she used to say over the phone calls?
Does my sister find herself lonely and plays with her dolls instead?
I can feel my grandmother’s prayers playing their part.
The only time I opened my mouth was to ask if the curtains covering the window could be moved. It showed me there was life after this.
Sometimes I forget the last time I was happy and smiling.
I feel that there are just illusions and they play back and pause. Always making fun of me.
I crave for the mid night snacks and morning coffee my mother would make. I imagine her bringing the coffee down to me across the bed at home where I was glued to as a kid.
When the door opens sometimes, I can see my father’s head. Popping in just to see a part of my face surrounded by tubes and machines I no longer want to familiarize myself with.
I’m counting days like they are. Marking in red the calendars. It’s been so long that I have felt the fresh air and green grass. I have forgotten the roots of my belonging.
Soon to go back again I get reminded every time the calendar screams red.

Aleena